For those of you that weren’t able to listen to our July 7th show… here’s what you missed:

One of the best stories we’ve seen on The Onion in a while…
http://www.theonion.com/articles/i-tell-ya-until-ive-had-my-morning-coffee-i-am-jus,17618/

Hybrids to get louder to protect the blind… because obviously hybrid drivers are blind, too.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100704/ap_on_bi_ge/us_quiet_hybrids

The toothfairy has a healthy oxycodone addiction.
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/palm-beach/fl-tooth-fairy-bust-20100702,0,5101522.story

Having your “writings” on a website doesn’t make you a journalist any more than reading webmd makes you a doctor.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/self-anointed-g20-journalists-should-get-real/article1627346/

Woman sues Starbucks when she spills HOT TEA on her baby.
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/brooklyn/ma_sues_bucks_in_tot_scalding_FffnGfcdFcUN5pvBVCkcUN

If you’re 8, and in Texas, and your dad is there… you can watch porn.
http://cbs11tv.com/local/texas.pornography.law.2.1785830.html

Man stabs man… with antlers.
http://www.adn.com/2010/07/01/v-mobile/1350594/man-allegedly-stabs-another-with.html

Kids these days have been coddled so much, they have entitlement complexes. In other news: The sky is blue.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/health/ct-met-teen-self-esteem-20100704,0,4193165.story

Australia’s most googled: “How to have sex”
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3041500/Australia-turns-to-Google-for-sex-advice.html

Counterfeit tetris games seized at Mexico border…
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/2010/jul/02/nearly-6000-counterfeit-tetris-games-headed-mexico/

School requires parents to supervise children’s transit to school… kids are on bikes… it’s only a mile.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1291970/Couple-threatened-social-services-children-ride-bikes-school.html

Boycotting BP? Don’t worry… the US Department of Defense is making sure they still sell gas.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/07/04/AR2010070403632.html?hpid=topnews

Man’s body found after viewing of Twilight: Eclipse – presumably died of embarassment.
http://www.3news.co.nz/Body-found-in-Wellington-cinema/tabid/423/articleID/164290/Default.aspx

Maids are trained to count toothbrushes – don’t even think of putting your SEVEN KIDS in that one room.
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/travel/news/7095568.html

Some guy whacking off in a WalMart electronics dept.
http://www.wdsu.com/news/24141800/detail.html

Man steals 20k from his employer, plans to gamble, double his money and return what he took. He lost it. Duh.
http://www.press-citizen.com/article/20100706/NEWS01/100706003/Man-steals-20K-from-restaurant-loses-it-all-at-casino

Sam’s Club to offer small business loans to small businesses that WalMart has destroyed. Ironic, much?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38103657/ns/business-us_business/

Wyoming threatens to sell land in Grand Tetons National Park
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2010-07-04-grand-teton-sale_N.htm

Lemonade Stands are why the economy sucks. Well, this one, anyway.
http://www.suntimes.com/business/savage/2464546,CST-NWS-savage05.savagearticle

“He also resembles Abraham Lincoln.”    … because Abraham Lincoln was a mustachioed black man?  That explains why he freed the slaves.
http://www.11alive.com/rss/rss_story.aspx?storyid=146001

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Plus: we wished our friend Prairie (tonight’s studio guest) a very happy birthday, and gave away a pair of FREE Jimmy Buffett tickets to new listeners “Ice” and “Rossi” (thanks for tuning in, guys!).  Till next week…